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Why is the most popular Valentine’s Day gift also the hardest to choose for someone else? I’m speaking, of course, of lingerie. Is it because it’s an intimate article of clothing that most people have rather set opinions on, common only to them? (The answer is: yes.) Behind the popular trope of the clueless guy giving his girlfriend lingerie three sizes too small for her lurks a sad and common reality. And thanks to our widespread culture of fat shaming, it can actually be mortifying for someone on the plus side to receive lingerie that doesn’t fit. However, buying plus size lingerie for your partner doesn’t have to be a clueless fumble in the dark. Especially if you’re shopping online, there are so many options to choose from now including styles that weren’t available in plus just a couple of years ago. So even if you’re unfamiliar with the vast and varied world of lingerie and don’t wear plus sizes yourself, here are some solid tips you can’t go wrong with while buying lingerie online for your partner.

Sizing, clearly is the biggest stumbling block for most. How do you guess your partner’s bra and underwear size without asking them? Here’s a simple solution: just…ask! You don’t need to say what you’re going to buy, just mention that you’d like to get them some lingerie and ask them what size to get. It’s as simple as that. This way, you eliminate the guesswork around sizing and it’ll still be a surprise!

Once you know their size, how do you figure out what your partner would like? When shopping for lingerie online, here are some aspects to consider: style, comfort, material, and colour. A good way to begin is by seeing what styles of undergarments your partner likes to wear on a regular basis and then take that up a notch. If they’re all for comfort and practicality, you could go for a lacy bralette and shorts that are fancier than ones for everyday wear. Babydolls and bodies in lace and mesh are sexy while being comfortable! Look out for wire free designs if your partner isn’t a fan of underwires. However, if they prefer a more sculpted silhouette and mostly wear underwired and push up bras, you could get something that produces a similar effect - like an underwired bustier with lace up details. Even the humble set of bra and undies can be elevated to rather sexy heights with sheer detailing and a garter belt with stockings. This guide to plus size lingerie at HauteFlair lists many more options you can look at, with a bit of information on each style.   

When it comes to lingerie, people tend to be most comfortable with styles similar to what they wear everyday. However, if your partner has indicated that they’d like to venture out of their comfort zone a bit, you could try getting them something a bit more risque, like crotchless knickers or a demi cup bra. As a general rule, it’s always best to talk to someone first before springing lingerie on them that they might not be comfortable wearing. This is all the more important if your partner has problems with their body image and mostly wears conservative styles. You might love to see them flaunt their sexy bod for you, but maybe that’s something your partner isn’t quite ready for! So just like in most situations, it’s always best to communicate. In fact, shopping online for lingerie together can be an intimate and sexy experience, especially for long distance couples - and I’m speaking from experience here!

So if you take anything away from this post, let it be the knowledge that buying lingerie for your partner doesn’t have to be some kind of a complex guessing game. Communication is a wonderful part of adulting that honestly makes everything so much easier. In case it has to be a surprise, remember to start with your partner’s everyday lingerie and then take it up to 100. And if I have one last tip to share, it’s this: red heart swiss dots on mesh are hard not to love, especially on Valentine’s Day.