It was a 11am but I needed a glass of wine.
It’s not that I have a drinking problem.. it’s just that in a few minutes I would be stripping down to my plain black bra and undies (and as it turned out, even less than that) and letting someone take pictures of me in my friends room.
No, I wasn’t trying my, ah.. hand(?) at porn, I’d need at leeeast a whole bottle of wine for that. I was in fact about to have my very first boudoir shoot that would be unedited as Jessie Rolton (the fabulous photographer) and I both believe in a body positive message. So, what better way to share it than a curvy girl with stretch marks and cellulite *mock gasp* showing it and the world not bursting into flames.
I know, right? Revolutionary.
It’s still nerve wracking showing your body to the internet even if you’re bloody Kimmy K. Which I may or may not be (spoiler, I’m not).
I had worked with Jessie on another shoot that I was styling and directing so I knew what an amazing photographer she was. Soo when the opportunity arose I stuck my hand up without thinking it through (after all that is my specialty) and I’m so glad I did. The result is exactly what I’d hoped for and the whole process was really fun. Like, I wish it was my job to roll around in bed with a glass of champagne while my friends (who took the day off work to hang out and help me feel more comfortable) held white boards up to reflect the light and giggle at the atrocious shots that involved a Beyoncé inspired hair flick that I really seriously, did not master.
If you’re wondering and you can’t quite tell from the photos, I have all the same stuff that you’re worried about showing off, too. Stretch marks? Yes X 1000. A tummy? Yes sir. Big thighs? Um, yeah.
I think I look pretty damn good in these photos, if I do say so myself. And I know you’re not supposed to say that, but I’m not sure why when we’ve spent enough time hating our bodies and indulging in negative self talk. Well I know I have.
And honestly, this shoot was for me. Not to please anyone except myself.
I did my own hair and make up and went for a “oh, I just rolled out of bed looking like this” kind of vibe.
I really wanted to do some shots with a lazy Sunday morning ambience to them which I think we pulled off (note – I do not usually look this put together on a Sunday morning, ha.). Jessie was ahh-mazing and it was literally just like hanging out with an old friend being silly and playing models, except Jessie actually knows what she’s doing with that camera and helped pose me so that I genuinely looked good, not just leave me to it and hope for the best (boobs under armpits isn’t sexy on anyone). I felt so comfortable I forgot I was basically in the nud. Now that’s a skilled photographer.
We tried a whole lot of poses, moved the room around, tried some more. A wee outfit change and some props were added, a tea cup, my glasses, a book and some knee high socks to really drive home that Sunday morning feel. I’m glad that we did because it gave some variety to the photos.
It was so much fun and I would recommend it to anyone. I know I’ll look back on these if I’m blessed enough to get older and slightly saggier, and think how glad I am that I did it. Even now as I look at the photos I can see a new beauty in myself and it gives me a different kind of confidence. We alllll deserve that.
Let me know if you do!